5 Fun Hacks For Dealing With Naysayers That Dampen Your Dreams

I always advise that you only share your new business or life-change goals with just a few people. Those you know will be supportive and give just the right amount of constructive advice to make sure you stay on track. 

But at some point, you will need to tell more people about your plans, especially when launching a new venture.  That’s when the naysayers can cross your path. People who want to pour water on your entrepreneurial fire. 

In this episode, I’m sharing some fun and easy ways to deal with them with style and grace, so you can protect your mindset without coming across as defensive.

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Transcript

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Imagine walking into a party and spotting someone across the room you just don't want to speak to. You know that they're going to ask about your plan to start a new business or to pursue your passion in some other way. You also know that they just don't get why you're doing it, which means you're going to have to defend your choices to them. Now imagine instead of turning around and walking out or constantly keeping on the move so they don't reach you, you feel confident enough to stroll right up to them and face the negativity. Wouldn't that be so empowering? I always advise that you only share your new business or life change goals with just a few people. Those that you know will be supportive and give you the right amount of constructive advice to make sure you stay on track. But at some point, you're going to need to tell more people about your plans, especially when you're about to launch a new venture. That's when the naysayers can cross your path. People who just want to pour water on your entrepreneurial fire. These people are of no use to you, and they have the potential to derail your progress by attacking your mindset and making you doubt yourself. So in this episode, I'm sharing some fun and easy ways to deal with them with style and grace, so you can protect your mindset without coming across as defensive. Are you ready? But let's get started. Hi, I'm Nicola O'Hara, and not so long ago, I navigated my way out of a successful corporate career to launch my dream business and haven't looked back. Now, I live a life of freedom and work where, when, how, and with whom I choose. I created this podcast to teach you the strategies I learned and share the knowledge and tools I needed during my escape journey. So you can make your move out of your day job faster, smarter, and with greater ease. Think of me as your mentor, teacher, guide, and cheerleader through the highs and lows of the employed entrepreneur rollercoaster. If you're an aspiring entrepreneur feeling trapped, unappreciated and unfulfilled in your job and longing to break free to build a business and life you're passionate about, you're in the right place. This is the Powering Your Passion podcast. Well, hello and welcome to this episode. This time I want to talk about naysayers. Now, if you've ever dared to dream big, chances are you've met at least one. You know, those people who intentionally or not question your decisions, throw doubt on your talents, and dampen your excitement and confidence in changing something significant in your life. Now, navigating through this skepticism can feel like a challenge. But let me tell you this, you do possess the power and resilience to handle any negativity or doubt you encounter. With the right approach, you can handle these situations with grace, style and a smile, and use their doubts as a source of motivation and drive. Imagine being in any scenario armed with the confidence to smartly handle the barrage of doubts thrown at your way. Picture yourself being able to easily shrug off negativity, turning a potentially uncomfortable situation into a demonstration of your resilience and unwavering belief in your plans. I remember dreading going into social situations where I knew certain people would be. People who I knew would never really get what I wanted to do. I was confident in my choices but was still not at that stage resilient to the negative barbs that would be thrown my way, either deliberately or innocently. Now I found typically the naysayers came in three types. Firstly, you have the sceptical realists. These people often question the feasibility of starting your own business. They emphasise the risks and challenges over the potential rewards. Although they actually don't really know much about it, it's just what they've heard. Their constant, just trying to be helpful, but ultimately negative approach can lead you to second guess your decisions, causing you to feel overwhelmed and doubtful about your own capabilities. The consequence of this is you start seeing your business dreams through a lens of fear rather than opportunity. Secondly, there are the dismissive pessimists. These are the ones who belittle your dreams, almost laughing at your crazy plans, dismissing them as impractical fantasies. Their negative outlook can seep into your mindset. causing you to devalue your ideas and underestimate their potential. Are you being crazy? Maybe it is just a fantasy. Maybe you do need to live in the real world. The result? You might feel disheartened, question the worth of your dreams, which could stop you in your tracks and send you back to thinking that the employee way is the only way. Lastly, you might face the jealous cynics. These are people who really would love to do the same thing as you. but don't have the confidence to drive self belief or resilience and are so stuck where they are. Have you ever heard the analogy of crabs in a bucket? It refers to a pattern that's been observed from watching the behaviour of crabs in a fisherman's bucket. It all starts when one crab tries to escape. When the other crabs notice this, they start to immediately pull him back into the bucket. This resistance occurs repeatedly any time any crab decides to get out. The group will prevent it from escaping. Due to this, the fisherman can leave the bucket without a lid, securing the knowledge that every time one crab tries to escape, the others will go out of their way to drag it back into the bucket. Well, these jealous cynics are those crabs. They often cloak their envy in harsh criticism, undermining your self esteem and dragging you down from the edge of greatness. Their relentless negativity can stir feelings of inadequacy, leading you to question your worth and your abilities. So much so, you might start to believe their negative narrative and start to lose your confidence and self belief. Now, if you've experienced any of these reactions, it's really important to know that you're not at fault. It's natural to be influenced by the opinions of others. Our society often values consensus, and our brains are wired to seek approval. However, ask yourself this. Should the opinions of naysayers dictate your dreams? Should their skepticism derail your journey? Okay, so let's switch gears. What if you could change your perspective? Not theirs, your perspective. What if you could transform these encounters with naysayers into empowering experiences? First up, to deal with these situations, you need to hone your inner filter. Think of this inner filter as a sieve. Sifting valuable insights from a stream of comments and discarding those that are unhelpful or merely negative without being constructive. Having an effective filter involves developing a clear understanding of your vision, purpose and goals. In other words, what you want to do and why. This clarity will serve as your compass, guiding you in distinguishing between constructive criticism that helps you grow, and undue negativity that hampers progress. Because sometimes advice can be just that. Advice from someone who cares. But other advice is criticism dressed up. The amazing part about your inner filter is that it's entirely under your control. Imagine it is a game. Each piece of feedback you encounter is a ball coming at you. Your task? Deciding which balls are helpful for your game. These get through your goalposts. The rest, you just dodge them. Sharpening your inner filter needs you to be self aware and mindful. It involves really listening and taking in body language, facial expressions and tone of voice to recognize the intent behind the feedback that you receive. If it's meant to discourage, let it bounce off your filter. If it's meant to be constructive, allow it through to refine your business plans. Okay, so my next hack is to embrace your new visionary role. As you're breaking away from the norm and doing something for yourself, You are not like other people. You are a visionary. And being a visionary isn't a mere title, but a commitment to lead, innovate and inspire others. You're no longer doing what everyone else is doing, instead you're creating a path for others to follow. Embracing your Visionary Role is about trusting in your unique perspective and your ability to bring your innovative ideas to fruition. This is where the magic happens, and it's also where the challenge lies. Not everyone will see what you see, understand your ideas, or share your optimism. But remember, as a visionary, your role isn't to convince the sceptics, but to prove them wrong through your success. When you embody your role of visionary, you can listen to their advice or comments with a smile, thank them for their view, and then agree to disagree. All the while knowing inside that you have a totally different way of seeing the world, and that is amazing. The next hack is to surround yourself with positive influences, so they outweigh any negativity or skepticism. When making the move to become your own boss and potentially change your way of life entirely, You have to be super careful about who and what you surround yourself with. The power of positivity cannot be understated, so it's vital to ensure that you surround yourself with positive influences. Now positive influences can come in different forms, from mentors and like minded peers, to coaches, inspirational books, podcasts and communities. These influences can form a support network that encourages your dreams, shares your aspirations and fuels your enthusiasm. They remind you of your abilities when doubt creeps in and celebrate your victories, however small they may be. One of the most rewarding aspects of surrounding yourself with positive influences and people is shared learning. You'll learn from the successes and failures of others, gain unite you, you'll learn from the successes and failures of others, gain unique insights and discover new strategies that you can use. Having a strong positive network of people around you can make those occasions when you're faced with doubt, negativity or criticism of your plans far easier. It's like having a personal cheer squad, providing you with the resilience to deal with those situations and not let them get to you or your plans. The next hack is to let criticism fuel your success. What do I mean by that? Well, often it's tempting to think about criticism as an obstacle, a discouragement, something to be avoided at all costs. However, by changing your perspective, you can transform criticism into a powerful tool for growth. Imagine criticism as raw, unrefined fuel. It might be messy and unpleasant initially, but once processed, it has the potential to propel you forward. After you use your inner filter to analyse the criticism you receive, to separate the constructive feedback from baseless negativity, then you use the negativity to motivate you. Each critique should inspire you to improve, to refine and to strive harder, to show that naysayer that they are 100% wrong and you will prove it. Now, this is not for everyone. If you're particularly sensitive, it is best to forget about the negativity. Using criticism as fuel needs you to be resilient. It's about standing strong in the face of adversity, learning from it, and moving forward with renewed energy. It's the thrill of proving naysayers wrong, and the satisfaction of overcoming challenges that make it all worthwhile. Ultimately, criticism can be your secret weapon, a source of power. Use wisely it can help you speed up your plans and work that much harder just to see their faces when you talk of your success. This last hack is one you will use all the time. It will quickly get you out of discussing your business plans with someone who you know just won't understand. And you'll be able to do it quickly and with style and grace. It's the art of subject switching. When you're doing something that is different from the norm and that you know a lot of people won't understand the ability to navigate conversations is crucial. Often you'll find yourself in situations where it's natural to ask questions about your work and life. And you know that you're going to have to deal with them. In such situations, mastering the art of changing the subject is an effective tactic to protect yourself. and your temper from unwanted negativity. Now, let's be clear, this doesn't involve avoiding meaningful discussions or evading constructive criticism. Rather, it's a strategic move to steer away from unproductive negativity that serves no purpose but to dampen your morale. But how can you do this subtly and effectively? First, it's about recognising the conversation's direction. Once you identify it's veering towards negativity, use a relevant diversion. This could be a remark on a current event, a question about a different topic, or sharing an interesting piece of information they're going to want to know. And the key to this is to be smooth and casual about it, ensuring the transition feels really natural. In mastering this art, it's helpful to have a few safe topics at the ready. These could be light hearted subjects like the latest movies, a popular book, an interesting hobby, or even the weather. I learned this technique from one of my mentors, Denise Duffeld Thomas. She calls it bean dipping. So in her scenario, you might be at a buffet or a barbecue, and you're chatting with someone, and you sense they are going to take the conversation in a negative direction. So you might be saying, oh I see where you're coming from, oh by the way, have you tried this bean dip? It's absolutely to die for. I heard that it's her mother's recipe, I really must get it from her. The idea of this being is that the conversation goes off in a different direction and may even lead to an escape as you go off to ask for the recipe. Obviously the bean dip can be anything, the trick is to change the topic of conversation. The more you practice conversation switching, the better you'll get, and you'll find soon that these transitions will become second nature. As a bonus, this skill won't just help you dodge negativity, but also makes you quite a skillful conversationalist. Of course, there will always be people who don't let you switch subjects so easily. who really want to give you their view no matter what. That's when you just smile, listen, thank them, and then excuse yourself. Their aim would be to get a reaction, so don't give them the satisfaction. In essence, this is a defensive technique, a protective shield against the barrage of naysayers arrows. It's a way to preserve your positivity, stay focused on your entrepreneurial dream, and ensure that your conversations remain pleasant and uplifting. The bottom line is, when you're starting a business, you will come across people who are naysayers. It's essential to remember that dealing with them is an unavoidable part of this journey. A rite of passage in your transformation from an employee to a business owner. Remember, naysayers are often a part of their own fears and insecurities. They might find it hard to embrace change, take risk, or understand visions different from their own. It's not so much about you, but about their own perception of the world. However, it's crucial to remember that you cannot change them. But you can change how you react to them. Getting annoyed or defensive only drains your energy and shifts your focus away from your goals. Instead, arm yourself with tools of resilience, positivity, and a clear vision. You're in control. You know your path. You understand your dreams. And you have the capability to make them come true. Envision the moment when you can prove the naysayers wrong, not out of spite, but as a testament to your perseverance. You are more powerful than the chorus of naysayers, and your dreams are worth every effort, every challenge, every victory along the way. So keep dreaming, keep striving, and keep succeeding, because I believe in you. That's it for this time. Remember, you deserve to live your passion, so go for it. This is your time. Hey, so if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or Amazon, so you know as soon as a new episode is released and don't miss out. And while you're there, feel free to give a rating or drop in a comment. I would love to hear from you.